Skin and Bones

I have always been fascinated by the human body. It’s intricate, yet the concept is somewhat simplistic—it keeps us alive and breathing until it can’t, and then we die. As a young person that seems to have a body of an 80 year old I have had a lot of exposure to learning the inner workings of our body. I've learned that torn tendons or ligaments can try to fix themselves. That gallbladders are essential to avoid long term toilet sessions. And each concussion reduces the chance of remembering ones name. But to me the most amazing part of the skin. Think about it. Underneath the vast stretchy organ is a skeleton that shapes our being and houses our ability to stay alive. The skin is what makes a person different. It is what gives us individuality, a way to tell one person from another. Without it we are all the same. Without it we are dead. The two need each other to make a being. The skin needs the skeleton’s ability to shape and the skeleton needs the skin to create uniqueness. If I was stripped of everything that made me Holly Ryan I would in turn be a dead skeleton, a collection of dry bones—nothing. 

This idea is the central component of our connection with God. Without Him we are nothing. We are simply skeletons, all the same and all nonexistent. In truth, humanity is nothing but dust, gathered and curated by the One who was never created and forever existed before the beginning of time. There are many illustrations like this in the Bible. We see Noah withstand the power of a flood that killed all of humanity, Moses split a freaking sea, and Joshua who led a people to scream and blow trumpets until the walls of Jericho fell down. When have you ever heard of a demolition by scream? All of these acts are because God made it possible. Because He strengthened humanities dry bones and made crap happen.

Man, woman, exist because the Lord picked up the dust and made us into something. 

In John 15:5 Jesus says to his disciples, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." We must be fully dependent on Him, because to be honest, we suck on our own. On our own there is war, destruction, poverty, demonic rulers. On our own we build an army of unstable minds who's sole purpose is personal gain and pleasure. Without the Love of God, our bodies are dead, our souls blackened, we are walking skeletons. Beauty, real beauty, uncreated beauty, ceases to exist unless we place on our armor of God and cover our dry bones with His eternal Life. Skin and bones, skin and bones. Our earthly bodies all stop working in the end. But without the skin, we never even live. Without walking in the covering of the Uncreated, when our bodies stop, they will never begin again. We return to dry bones. We return to dust, our lives forgotten. But with Him, we never die, we never stop, we get to sing a song that lasts forever to a God who lives forever and life, real uncreated life, never ends. 

Like I said, our bodies intricate, but not complicated. We are a collection of dry bones. When we say a wholly yes to God, we become something. Something that is real and never ending—we become His inheritance. 

Reaching into the Unpopular Realm

Having dreads has taught me a lot. They are extremely hard to maintain if you have as straight as hair as I do. Do not be fooled by their casual, messy like presence. That is not a sign of unkempt hair, but the exact opposite--hours of pulling, twisting, pain, Advil popping and knotting. I've learned to not use wax unless you are becoming a candle for Halloween and that reaching true "dreadhead" level is only when you can successfully use your dreads to tie up the rest of your hair (Est. March 11, 2016). But the most impactful has been my interaction with other people. My dreads are against the norm. They are in a constant state of judgement from passerbys. In the year and a half that I have had them, I have had to learn how to ignore those that perceive me out to be something I am not; to walk in a room and be different. 

See Jesus teaches us something about that. Going against the norm usually means you are doing something right. Please do not hear what I am not saying. Murderers, rapists, even petty liquor store thieves go against the norm and yet, they walk in sin. What I am referring to is the very real yearning to belong. Wanting to belong is actually a part of human nature. We were created with it so that we may yearn to belong to Him. In the Fall, Adam and Eve reversed this concept. Belonging became focused on other gods and values completely opposite of the things of God. Today being a lover of Jesus is weird and strange. It is against the norm. But it's always been like that. Jesus was not a popular man. He was hated and chased after. The Pharisees spent the three years Jesus was traveling the land trying to take Him out.

Lets look at the blind man healing in John 9. 

        "1 As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 And his disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" 3 Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. 4 We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. 5 As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world." 6 Having said these things, he spit on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man's eyes with the mud 7 and said to him, "Go, wash in the pool of Siloam" (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing" (John 9:1-7). 

A key point here is that the man did not see Jesus. He obviously did not when he was blind, then, when Jesus sent the man away to wash his face in the pool of Siloam,  He walked away before the mans eyes were healed (John 9:6). When people saw that the man who used to be blind could see they asked what had happened and the he responded, "The man called Jesus made mud and anointed my eyes and said to me, 'Go to Siloam and wash.' So I went and washed and received my sight" (John 9:11). 

Immediately after his healing the blind man went out to share the miracle that Jesus did. He hadn't even seen Him and yet, he was sharing the anointing power of Jesus.

Read further on and we learn that even after that statement to the people the Jews still did not believe that he was blind and now healed so they went to the parents of the man to ask if this was their son (John 9:18). When they asked how their son could see, the parents of the man said, "We know that this is our son and that he was born blind. But how he now sees we do not know, nor do we know who opened his eyes. Ask him; he is of age. He will speak for himself" (John 9:20-21). Again, another crucial response. See I always read this as the parents wanted their son to speak for himself because he was grown. But the blind man's parents were actually disassociating themselves from the claims their son was making. In this time if people claimed this man named Jesus as God, they were cast out of the community. So instead of answering the question they turned it back on their son. It was then that the once blind man answered once more "never since the world began has it been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a man born blind. If this man were not from God, he could do nothing" (John 9:32-33). Boom. Jesus proclamation bomb. After this statement they cast him out of the community. 

It was only after the man was cast out that he finally saw Jesus. Even when his parents denied him, he continued to speak of the miracle Jesus did. This is our hope for living and to speak of the goodness and power of the Lord and the mighty works He does. This once blind man was denied by his parents. This man was excommunicated. He let go of everything to speak about a Man who He could not see. Three times this guy declared Jesus as God. Three times He went against the common law and denied the norm in his society, even unto excommunication. As modern day Christians we can be constantly distracted by the popular beliefs in our society. Things can easily pull us away from spending time with Jesus. We get caught up in those popular beliefs that we turn from the truths of who Jesus is; we turn from our original calling of finding relationship with Him. Going against the greater population can be scary and difficult, but it is necessary. When we stand and chase after this very alive, invisible God we find fulfillment. Like the blind man that stood, even against his parents, we are called to turn from the darkness that captivates this modern day society and reach into the unpopular realm of freedom. Though we cannot see, we believe. And though we may rebel against the norm, against wanting to belong, we find communion with the Holy One and that alone is our purpose. 

Jesus you have won me. Captivate me once more. 

Google gods vs. God

     The last few months have been still, a quiet nothing. And I have realized the season that I was told was coming is actually happening. Two months ago I longed for a quiet night. Now I get tempted to invite random strangers into my home to simply just make noise. It’s funny the things you will do when you are bored. I have found myself organizing my sock drawer, taking daily naps, cleaning clean dishes. I feel like a bear in hibernation. I have time to do absolutely anything. The make your own maple almond butter kind of time. The lay on the beach (though I'm not complaining about that) type of time. I have caught myself continually reverting to my fixing mode to find  busyness. I want to fill the space and be less without my thoughts. I don't even actually have my degree certificate, yet and I am angry that I don’t have a career. I see those around me have new job opportunities, goals, and I am here with empty thoughts. A few weeks ago I sat hopelessly on the Internet for jobs that are within my degree. It was so pathetic that I actually typed in, Jobs for English majors in Orange County. At one point I even considered the link that said, "Teach at Mandarin Speaking School." And then I laughed at myself. I love when desperation turns into dramatic nonsense. It has been only a few months since school has ended, and yet I expect something to happen now. It’s quite scary how dependent our generation has become on immediacy. I have cheese older than that and here I sit complaining. 

My Google search was followed by reading Matthew 6:25. You know the part that says, “do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on.” The part that is actually titled “Do Not Worry.” The one that talks about even the birds being taken care of (Matthew 6:25-27). Ha, I always get a kick out of God’s timing. Sometimes I wonder how He doesn't just scream at us.  I want to imagine those fiery eyes turning into a bonfire as his wool-like locks sway violently back and forth. But he doesn’t. That never happens when we are lost and searching. His ways are gentle and kind and while He very much calls us out on our stupidity, he never leaves or turns away. He stands, arms opened wide, yearning for our gaze. Nothing in this world chases after us like that—so unconditionally, so consistently—and yet we choose to still wave our arms and scream into a big microphone in hopes that someone in the world will notice and say we are something. He's there and we still like to choose another love. 

I kept reading through Matthew 7 and got to the part where it says not everyone will make it into Heaven. See this is where most stop reading. They read, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven'" (Matthew 7:21-22). And then they stop. They justify their acceptance and belief solely by attending church on Sunday’s and then move on. But what about the next part that says, “On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness'" (Matthew 7:23). Now that's terrifying. Does that actually say God will still throw us out even if we went to church and prayed for people? Yes. Totally.  These parts of the bible are the very swords that fight against the "water-downed-love-everyone-generation" we are living in. It’s not all about what we do. It’s not about success. He wants relationship. For us to sit in the quiet and listen. For us to be still and attentive to His heart. 

How often this idea gets skewed for me. I am a workaholic. I love working. Work was in the Garden, it is biblical. But I find myself at times attempting to mold it with the idea of my worth. Where is the stage, the good job, the hefty paycheck, or the creative career tasks? Where’s that non-profit organization or the perfect church to be built up in? These ideas are all good, but rooted in a heart of wanting to be something. This is how the new aged Google gods begin to replace the true God. This is how the Devil breaks in and makes his move. It really is smart of him isn’t it? That may be a scary thing to say, but it's so true. The devil’s goal is to turn our gaze away from the Lord. So he brings money, and success and shiny objects to convince us that those are the important parts of life. The devil swoons us, invites us onto an eighty year honeymoon. He keeps us long enough to where it’s too late, to where we forget why we are here living. We stop searching for God's ways. It’s such a simple message and yet, we constantly try to direct the hand of God, not trusting that He will provide and will take us to the far places of His heart.

I find it interesting within this part of Matthew that it continuously says the Lord will reward us in the secret place. The verses before even talk about not showing the face of one that is fasting and not flaunting the deeds we do for others, but giving it to God in the secret place. The Lord is focused on our hearts singing for an audience of One. When we find this secret place, we find our original Maker. When we quiet down our souls, we hear the burdens of his heart. When we stay still, we find truth that our lives are fully in the hands of the Lord. This stirs me to know more. To remember that He is everything and we are nothing. 

So screw what man says of worth. Screw the stereotypes of post graduation blues. Screw straying from the truth that we were created to gaze upon Him. We are a generation that wants to be known and noticed and the entire time He is screaming for us to know Him. For all things will fade away any ways, but how foolish we would be to have our spirit fade too. Let those lamps burn with the oil of compassion and sacrifice and let us find our plan, our purpose in the shadow of His secret place. He loves when we are still and not busy. He loves when we have lay on the beach type of time, because in the silence we can hear His voice again. 

God, take me away again to that place where I know you. Pull, rip, steal me away from the world and show me. Because I have a wretched view of worth and Yours is the only way to eternity.